Oh Jimi

Watched "Hear My Train A' Comin' the other night, also saw Andre 3000's portrayal of the late, great Jimi Hendrix recently. I was, naturally, more moved by the documentary - my first full scale introduction to the man. Jimi Hendrix wasn't on my radar until an ex introduced me to one of his songs, and he played it so frequently that I ended up being forced to pay attention to the talent. After that, I never really thought about him much again - until I found out that Andre' would be portraying him. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Dre', had to become re-acquainted quick.

The man was beautiful, the man is beautiful.

Today, as I digitally painted the piece featured for this blog, with a calm stroke battling a frantic mind (watching the clock, wondering how far I could push this luxury before having to leave for work) I found myself REALLY wishing that this could be it for me. That my talent would bring the buyers who would bring the money to sustain me from art ALONE. I know that is nirvana for me, my xanadu, my personal heaven. I want it,

My next thought was "Oh, Jimi...you dear, shy, genius of a humble soul you....why baby?" He was doing what I dream of - living off of his passion, traveling because of his passion, writing and performing his music exactly the way he wanted to. How could that not be enough? How can it be that this didn't fill all chasms, fill all voids, heal all wounds, and remedy all aches? How can a person come to you with a drug and say "You wanna get high?"....I imagined someone trying that with me if I was living my dream as Jimi was - if I was living off of my art - getting to travel, see new places, meet new people and have my talents appreciated and supported to a degree that financially sustains me. "Hey, Terri, you wanna get high?".....*blink* BITCH, I CAN GET NO HIGHER...IF YOU DON'T GET ON WITH THAT WEAK ASS SHIT". There is NO higher high than the plateau I would reach because of my dream manifesting.

Art returned to me when I was at my lowest low, after losing HER. If I didn't become vulnerable enough to implode THEN, there ain't shit you can do to make me crumble now, trust. Art pulled me through that. I believe it has the power to pull me through nearly anything, if I let it. I will ALWAYS try to let it. I have lows. No doubt. We're living. How do you not have lows when you're living? on this planet? with THESE people? Impossible not to. But my highs *leaaaaans hard while dipping low* my highs mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, my highs will have your Jesus saying "Yo, can I come up there and chill with you?" Yeah. Like that.

It's fortifying to know that this can bring me all of the peace I need - when there is no man to comfort me, no friend around to share my stories with, when the day comes that there in no one in my home but me - it is amazing to know that I can still experience euphoria - that my "high" will NEVER have to be outsourced. Oh, Terri, you live an enchanted life indeed.

sigh. Oh Jimi. Wish you could have known this.

DISCLAIMER: my blogs are created during spur of the moment, bursts of inspiration. Please forgive typos and unintentional grammatical errors. I may come back and tighten those up, or not. Get that message anyway.