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I Choose You

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I Choose You

This piece is untitled and, yes, I am open to suggestions for a TITLE (Warning: That does not mean open to critiques about the piece, please, for the love of all that is holy, tread carefully and resist that cloying urge)

The reason it is untitled is simple because I didn't take it seriously when I started sketching. It was just me playing around with what I considered to be a dope ass pose from the Artpose app, and wanting to depict it. The idea for the wings came as I was drawing her. Now, she was sketched and then drawn in pencil. I don't know what compelled me to finally use the AIRBRUSH TOOL in ARTRAGE, as I have previously shied away from it (as I usually do with new creative introductions) but decided to go for it. My leedohl seester responded strongly to the wings, feeling that they had a look of "satin"...I just knew that I thought they looked more dramatic than they would have with the PENCIL TOOL.

Sorry, this is about to turn into a blog, roll with it (I'll post it to my actual blog when I'm done)...it JUST struck me (as I'm typing) that I was fascinated by photographer and artist, Benjamin J Foster's process of capturing a lucky bamboo plant, in a re-purposed spaghetti jar with plumes of incense smoke surrounding it against a dramatic jet black background that made the reflection of the jar and the phantom qualities of the smoke POP! It was simply him knowing his camera and being knowledgeable about settings, he adjusted the aperture or some shit ('cause I can't get technical) that would restrict the allowance for light. That fascinated me! Because I thought "See, that's what you can do when you know what everything you own does!". I do not know what everything I own (read: My tools in Artrage) do. Even though my virtual mentor, Howard Barry, instructed me many times to "get in there and play around". I'm afraid of playing around though (likening it to monkey bars on the playground), I mean sure, the OTHER kids make it looks like tons of fun, but what if I fall and hurt myself? and to paraphrase a brilliant retort that I've seen..."BUT WHAT IF YOU DON'T?" And just like that, I have a particular mission now in Artrage...to create something with all of the tools that I have shied away from before and their varied settings. Iucked into her "satin wings", when I should have KNOWN that by choosing to AIRBRUSH them, that it would have given the dramatic effect that my spirit wanted them to have.

We should want to know it all. How does this medium react on that paper? (I do not)...what happens if I attempt to combine this with that? (I don't know)...If I were to use this in order to...? (yo, I can't call it)....that has been my excuse AND my comfort. It is why I ordered and received various painting supplies about 4 months ago and I have yet to EVEN OPEN THE BOX.

I am intimidated.

I am afraid of making something that looks "less than"

fear may be keeping me from a masterpiece.

or, I may simply may discover that I suck as a painter.

would that be the worst thing in the world to discover when I consider that can still l draw my ass off, so...all will not be lost?

I owe it to myself to KNOW what these mediums and tools I have can do with me, and I with them - because who wants to always soar with regular ol' paper wings, when you can reach heights with those dramatically lovely satin joints that you CHOSE for your flight today.

TERRI!

(DISCLAIMER: Please forgive any typos, I do these blogs on the fly, as inspiration hits and I'm usually fairly rushed.)